Switch on - Day 0 (continued)

After a welcome and some introductions with the audiologist, I was handed my shiny new processor (the bit for the outside of my head) in Bordeaux Red and hooked up to her computer.  The switch on took about an hour, and unlike the name suggests, involved more than just a simple flick of a switch.

The implant cable which now sits inside my cochlea has 12 electrodes, which you can see if you look carefully at my x-ray image.  Each of these electrodes is responsible for a different set of sound frequencies, ranging from high to low tones.  The switch on process involves adjusting each electrode in turn, to produce a comfortable range of high and low volumes.

"Ouch!!!!" was my first reaction when I was connected to the computer.  I felt a loud, uncomfortable crash inside my head.  My instant reaction was to rip the processor off my head.  But I resisted, and the sound faded away.  The session continued like this for about 30 minutes, using the computer to throw different tones at different volumes at my implant - the quiet ones were fine, the louder ones brought tears to my eyes.

And then came the moment to listen to the real world... Click.  "Hello Catherine, can you hear me?  I've switched your implant on now.  Testing, testing, 123." I lip read her perfectly.  But what I heard was different.  It wasn't a voice at all.  It was just squawks and beeps and whistles.  It was same for every sound, voice or not.

Walking back to the car, I felt nothing but exhaustion. When we got home, there were so many sounds coming from everywhere and after an hour, I pulled the processor off, and wondered how it was going to work.  I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting it to be quite like this.

While not pleasant and consistently uncomfortable, this reaction is typical, so I'm assured.  My brain will take time to adapt.  But at the moment, it feels like there's an awful lot of adjustment to be made.  

Switch on - Day 0

The switch on happened today, and went smoothly.  I'll write a brief summary of the day shortly and upload some photos, but need to gather my thoughts first.  Before then, and over the coming days, I'm going to list all the sounds I'm hearing for the first time.

X-ray of my head

Here's an X-ray of my head, following the operation to insert my implant.  You can see the implant fixed to my skull, and the 12 individual electrodes on the curled wire which sits inside my cochlea.  Click on the image to see a larger one.

The "switch on" is tomorrow

Four weeks after the operation, the day of my "switch on" is almost here. On both Tuesday and Wednesday this week, I'll travel once again to the Emmeline centre at Addenbroke's in Cambridge, to receive a processor for my new implant, and then begin the process of getting it switched on and configured.

I'm desperately excited, but also nervous - in near equal parts. Over the past few months, I've tried to keep my expectations low. But it's difficult not to imagine a life with more hearing than I have now. Will it work for me? Will I be disappointed? Will the sounds I hear just be loud muffles, rather than the quiet ones I hear now? Volume is nothing, clarity is everything. And what about everyone else? My friends and family have been so supportive, I don't want to let them down.

It will be a shock at first. The auditory nerve on the right side of my head, which carries the electrical signals from the implant, won't know what's hit it. From carrying nothing more than a slowly decreasing, drought-laden trickle over the last 34 years, to a gushing deluge in an instant.

Of course, my brain won't recognise most of the signals immediately after the switch on. I've been told I'll hear robotic beeps and whistles to start with - whatever they really sound like. It will take time for my brain to piece together the new sensations with the sounds that are causing them. How quickly this happens, if at all, will depend upon how quickly my brain can adapt. They say it's usually as good as it will ever be after a year.

Whatever happens over the coming days, weeks and months, I know that commitment and dedication from me, and patience and support from friends and family will play a huge role. And from that point of view, I know I'm in the best possible place to make the most of this opportunity.